WHO SLAMMED DOORS FOR FUN AND PERISHED MISERABLY
by: Hilaire Belloc (1870-1953)
- Trick that everyone abhors
- In Little Girls is slamming Doors.
- A Wealthy Banker’s Little Daughter
- Who lived in Palace Green, Bayswater
- (By name Rebecca Offendort),
- Was given to this Furious Sport.
- She would deliberately go
- And Slam the door like Billy-Ho!
- To make her Uncle Jacob start.
- She was not really bad at heart,
- But only rather rude and wild:
- She was an aggravating child....
- It happened that a Marble Bust
- Of Abraham was standing just
- Above the Door this little Lamb
- Had carefully prepared to Slam,
- And Down it came! It knocked her flat!
- It laid her out! She looked like that.
- Her funeral Sermon (which was long
- And followed by a Sacred Song)
- Mentioned her Virtues, it is true,
- But dwelt upon her Vices too,
- And showed the Dreadful End of One
- Who goes and slams the door for Fun.
- The children who were brought to hear
- The awful Tale from far and near
- Were much impressed, and inly swore
- They never more would slam the Door.
- As often they had done before.
POEMS BY HILAIRE BELLOC
|"Rebecca" is reprinted from Cautionary Tales for Children. Hilaire Belloc. 1907.